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Tundra

Football is Almost Here -- Notes to Buc Players

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Yep. Let's get this party started.   I doubt I'll watch much of the Lame Game if any, but holy cow, preseason football is about to come squirting out at us like when my friend used to jack off stallions. 

Devin White -- just be you. Fuck the hype and please don't try to make the hall of fame your first series and dislocate a lung. 

Suh -- please make us even happier that we sent that fucking fraud who wears your number packing. 

Rookie DBs -- please translate your coaches' impressions to the playing field. 

Vea -- just pick up where you left off at the end of last season. No need to try to overdo it. 

Spence -- your mouth is moving. Let's see some quarterbacks hit the ground in preseason before penciling you in as a non-bust. 

JPP -- fucking heal up. Please. And hire a full time driver. And get a Buick or something. 

Nassib -- please don't be the second spoodging of Stylez White. 

Lavonte -- I'm not worried about you, expecting all pro year from you. 

 

Cappa -- are you going to get a clue or what? 

Dong Smith -- earn your fucking contract you loafing oaf edit who now has a fucking achilles injury. DOH -- yeah he;s a keeper all right FUUUCK

Jensen -- maybe without a corpse playing to your right you can actually play center again. Oh wait...Cappa..........Corpsa?

Breshad Perriman -- please stay healthy and make us forget about DuhShawn whatshisface, the cancerous overrated primadonna from wherever. 

Mike -- please fucking stay healthy. Please. 

Godwin -- don't overthink it. You're going to get worn out so stay in shape!

OJ -- stop reading all  your press clippings and just do what you were doing before you fuckened your ankle. 

Brate -- looking forward to your full return to health. Jameis loves your ass, and not in a gay way. At least I don't' think so. 

Barber -- everyone believes in you. You believe in yourself. Maybe without that idiot Warhoppingfuck, you'll have blocking schemes that fit the OL's talents and you'll do what many of us see you capable of.      1k yards, brohogger, 

Ronald Jones -- fuck you I don't think you have a prayer.  Prove me wrong. 

Jameis -- JAMEIS --  just play like you did in the last game of last season all the time. If you do the Bucs will make the playoffs.  Learn to do meditative yoga or something before going out on the field for the first series and calm the fuck down. You're not 16 anymore. You're a father, a husband, and apparently a dude everyone around you admires. Stop trying to prove something. Just play. 

BRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCE -- please don't just simply be a bag of hot air, and actually turn that accountability sheet into a positive force for culture change, keep your enormous staff aligned so they are telling the players consistent things and not confusing them, and please fucking stay healthy. 

 

Sincerely, your exhausted and Glazertard abused fan, Tndrcnt

 

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15 minutes ago, Tundra said:

Yep. Let's get this party started.   I doubt I'll watch much of the Lame Game if any, but holy cow, preseason football is about to come squirting out at us like when my friend used to jack off stallions. 

Devin White -- just be you. Fuck the hype and please don't try to make the hall of fame your first series and dislocate a lung. 

Suh -- please make us even happier that we sent that fucking fraud who wears your number packing. 

Rookie DBs -- please translate your coaches' impressions to the playing field. 

Vea -- just pick up where you left off at the end of last season. No need to try to overdo it. 

Spence -- your mouth is moving. Let's see some quarterbacks hit the ground in preseason before penciling you in as a non-bust. 

JPP -- fucking heal up. Please. And hire a full time driver. And get a Buick or something. 

Nassib -- please don't be the second spoodging of Stylez White. 

Lavonte -- I'm not worried about you, expecting all pro year from you. 

 

Cappa -- are you going to get a clue or what? 

Dong Smith -- earn your fucking contract you loafing oaf. 

Jensen -- maybe without a corpse playing to your right you can actually play center again. Oh wait...Cappa..........Corpsa?

Breshad Perriman -- please stay healthy and make us forget about DuhShawn whatshisface, the cancerous overrated primadonna from wherever. 

Mike -- please fucking stay healthy. Please. 

Godwin -- don't overthink it. You're going to get worn out so stay in shape!

OJ -- stop reading all  your press clippings and just do what you were doing before you fuckened your ankle. 

Brate -- looking forward to your full return to health. Jameis loves your ass, and not in a gay way. At least I don't' think so. 

Barber -- everyone believes in you. You believe in yourself. Maybe without that idiot Warhoppingfuck, you'll have blocking schemes that fit the OL's talents and you'll do what many of us see you capable of.      1k yards, brohogger, 

Ronald Jones -- fuck you I don't think you have a prayer.  Prove me wrong. 

Jameis -- JAMEIS --  just play like you did in the last game of last season all the time. If you do the Bucs will make the playoffs.  Learn to do meditative yoga or something before going out on the field for the first series and calm the fuck down. You're not 16 anymore. You're a father, a husband, and apparently a dude everyone around you admires. Stop trying to prove something. Just play. 

BRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCE -- please don't just simply be a bag of hot air, and actually turn that accountability sheet into a positive force for culture change, keep your enormous staff aligned so they are telling the players consistent things and not confusing them, and please fucking stay healthy. 

 

Sincerely, your exhausted and Glazertard abused fan, Tndrcnt

 

I approve this message....

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If there’s one guy that could fucken the entire season by being seriously injured more than anyone else it’s Mike.

Put him in fucking bubble wrap and don’t take it off of him until the 69ers game ferchrissakes.

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Donkeys play with the Fowlcreams tonight.  My thoughts -- 

If Matt Ryan plays, I hope he gets hit and taken out for the season. May Julia Jones pull a major hamstring that causes him to fall and break a lung. And I hope someone careens into the Fowlcreams sideline and takes out Dork Knttr, that passive aggressive non-leading piece of dung. 

Actually, here's hoping that as many Folwcreams starters as possible suffer season ending injuries. Fuck them . 

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